On September 11, 2011, Grandparents Day will reach its 32nd anniversary. Like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, it’s a time for family celebration, and a chance to honor the important role grandparents play in children’s lives. National Grandparents Day falls each year on the first Sunday after Labor Day. It’s not a holiday invented to sell cards and flowers. It was initiated at the grassroots level by West Virginian Marian Lucille Herndon McQuade, with the behind-the-scenes support of her husband Joseph L. McQuade. They had 15 children, 43 grandchildren, 10 great-grandchildren, and one great-great grandchild. After being married for over 60 years, Mr. McQuade passed away in 2001. Mrs. McQuade passed away in 2008.
There are three purposes for National Grandparents Day:
1. To honor grandparents.
2. To give grandparents an opportunity to show love for their children’s children.
3. To help children become aware of the strength, information and guidance older people can offer.
Mrs. McQuade wanted Grandparents Day to be a family day. Families can enjoy small, private gatherings, perhaps even a family reunion, or participate in community events. On a societal level, National Grandparents Day gives us a chance to publicly affirm the identity and importance of grandparents, that they do play a vital role in families. It is also a day of giving – giving of self, sharing hopes, dreams, and values, and setting an example for future generations.
Mrs. McQuade has modestly referred to herself as “just a housewife,” but her unending work to establish and publicize the holiday marks her as a true community leader. She spent much of her life advocating for older adults. In 1971 she was elected Vice-Chair of the West Virginia Committee on Aging and appointed as a delegate to the White House Conference on Aging. In 1972, Mrs. McQuade’s efforts resulted in President Richard Nixon proclaiming a National Shut-in Day. She served as President of the Vocational Rehabilitation Foundation, Vice-President of the West Virginia Health Systems Agency, and was appointed to the Nursing Home Licensing Board, among many other involvements.
Mrs. McQuade started her campaign for a day to honor grandparents in 1970. She worked with civic, business, church, and political leaders to first launch the day in her home state in 1973. Then, after many years, much persuasion, and unending persistence, she finally achieved her bigger goal. It was in 1979 that President Jimmy Carter proclaimed the first Sunday after Labor Day each year as National Grandparents Day (September was chosen to signify the “autumn” years of life). In part, the proclamation reads:
Grandparents are our continuing tie to the near-past, to the events and beliefs and experiences that so strongly affect our lives and the world around us. Whether they are our own or surrogate grandparents who fill some of the gaps in our mobile society, our senior generation also provides our society a link to our national heritage and traditions.
We all know grandparents whose values transcend passing fads and pressures, and who possess the wisdom of distilled pain and joy. Because they are usually free to love and guide and befriend the young without having to take daily responsibility for them, they can often reach out past pride and fear of failure and close the space between generations.
Grandparents Day was officially adopted in Canada in 1995 as falling on the second Sunday in September to acknowledge the importance of grandparents to “the structure of the family in the nurturing, upbringing, and education of children… [Grandparents play] a critical role in strengthening the family.” Commented one member of Canadian parliament speaking on behalf of the motion:
I do not hold grandparents to be glorified babysitters but rather as parents’ surrogates who bring love, a continuance of generational values, and a sense of the child’s worth to the integrity of the family… I was brought up by a grandparent. My parents both worked outside the home for most of my life. They needed to for economic reasons. It was my grandmother who nurtured me, gave me a sense of worth and molded in many ways the course my life was to take. My grandmother was my role model, my mentor, and my confidant.
While Mother’s Day and Father’s Day have apostrophes, officially Grandparents Day does not. It seems this may have simply been an oversight when the holiday was proclaimed. But it’s an oversight that serves the holiday well. Mrs. McQuade did not envision the holiday as “belonging” to grandparents. Instead, she saw it as a day of celebration involving the whole family, a day to connect the generations. It’s just as much a day to honor grandparents as it is a day for grandparents themselves to confirm their loving legacy to the generations that follow them.
Today, an increasing number of grandparents have actually assumed daily responsibility for their grandchildren. According to AARP, 4.5 million children are being raised in households headed by grandparents. For those kids and millions of others, grandparents create special relationships and impart lessons that last a lifetime. As Carter wrote, “Grandparents are our continuing tie to the near-past, to the events and beliefs and experiences that so strongly affect our lives and the world around us.”